


sandcastle

by Gael_In_Red (orphan_account)



Category: Super Dangan Ronpa 2
Genre: Angst, Background Kuzuryu Fuyuhiko, Background Pekoyama Peko, Bisexual Hinata Hajime, Body Image, Everyone is there, Except Chiaki, F/F, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Gay Komaeda Nagito, Hinata Hajime Swears, Hinata Hajime/Komaeda Nagito-centric, Hurt/Comfort, Internalized Homophobia, Komaeda Nagito Being Komaeda Nagito, Komaeda Nagito Has PTSD, Komaeda Nagito Needs a Hug, M/M, Mutual Pining, Oblivious Hinata Hajime, Panic Attacks, Post-Canon, Post-Dangan Ronpa 3: Hope Arc, Regret, Slow Burn, Spoilers, Trauma, because she's dead, but they're kinda in the background
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-07
Updated: 2020-12-12
Packaged: 2021-03-09 19:13:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 8,249
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27941324
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/Gael_In_Red
Summary: Hajime and Nagito spend a lot of time with each other and Hajime realizes he's in love with his best friend
Relationships: Hinata Hajime/Komaeda Nagito, Koizumi Mahiru/Saionji Hiyoko, Mioda Ibuki/Tsumiki Mikan, Soda Kazuichi/Tanaka Gundham
Comments: 30
Kudos: 168





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> hey guys! for more schedule info, check out my twitter which is @gaelred4

Hajime buttoned his coat and stepped outside. The ringing in his head was becoming too much to take, so some fresh air was just what he needed. The cool, dawn breeze rustling through the trees. A tall silhouette sat near the hotel pool. Hajime could make out their feet, dangling into the water. 

“Hey!” he called out. 

The silhouette turned towards Hajime. “Why are you awake?” they called back. Nagito.

“I could ask you the same question,” Hajime smirked while walking towards the white haired boy. “Why are you here?”

“I couldn’t sleep. You?”

Hajime sat down next to him. “Same here. I keep having such vivid nightmares.”

Nagito sighed. “If you don’t mind my prying, what are they about?”

Hajime looked away. “The warehouse.”

Nagito’s expression darkened as he stared at the moon. “I’m sorry that I caused you grief. I truly am scum. If it’s any consolation, mine were about the warehouse, too.”

“Wait a second. When you have nightmares, don’t you usually go for a walk?”

Nagito rubbed his temples. “I wanted to go for a swim.”

“That’s bullshit, you never swim. Besides, you’re wearing your normal clothes.”

“I could be wearing my swimsuit under these.”

“You aren’t, though.”

“That’s true.”

“Then why are you out here?” Hajime scowled.

“Can’t you guess? Why would I come to the pool at 2 in the morning, even though I don’t know how to swim and I’m afraid of the dark?”

Hajime sighed. “Nagito,” he pleaded. “Come with me.”

“I’m a burden, this is for the best.”

“You aren’t. Don’t make me use my ultimate weight lifter talent, because I can and will carry you out of here.”

“Just let me have this, Hajime.”

“No, we’re going to my cottage.”

Nagito blushed. “Why?”

“I can’t let you do something stupid. You’re staying with me.”

Nagito and Hajime entered Hajime’s cottage. The room was messy, his bed was unmade, clothes spotted the floor, and the lamp appeared broken. He muttered an apology and picked up his things, putting them in their proper places. 

Nagito sighed. “Look, I appreciate that you care about someone as awful as myself, but I really should go.”

“Why?” Hajime raised an eyebrow. “Do you have a hot date?”

Nagito blushed. “No! Nobody here likes me. I don’t have a date, I’m just burdening you.”

Hajime grabbed Nagito’s arm. “No you aren’t. I’m sure the others like you, maybe just platonically though.”

Nagito smiled quickly, savoring the thought. “That would be nice. I haven’t ever had friends before. Chiaki was the first person who actually showed me kindness. Well, before that, there was one other person…”

Hajime scooted closer. “Tell me about them.”

Nagito sighed dreamily. “I went to a beach near where my parents lived, just a few months before they died. I built a sandcastle and a boy my age tripped and fell on it. He was pretty rude, and refused to tell me his name, but he helped me rebuild the sandcastle. We talked about nonsense the whole day. I still don’t know if it was bad luck or good luck that we met that day. He looked a lot like you, Hajime. He had your sparkling green eyes, and spiky hair.”

Hajime tapped his chin. “I think that was me. I remember meeting someone by the name of Ko at a beach when I was in elementary school. I remember building a cool sandcastle.”

Nagito’s eyes brightened. “It must have been good luck after all if I got to meet you.”

Hajime smiled. “Yeah, it was.”

“Do you want to make a new sandcastle?”

“Sure! After all, I am the ultimate sand artist.”

Hajime and Nagito sat down on the beach where they had first met. Hajime filled a bucket with water, and Nagito began to build a base. The two got to work, Nagito happily following Hajime’s directions. The waves crashed against the land as the sun rose in the distance. After hours of work, the two stepped back to admire their work. It was a giant sand sculpture of Monomi. 

“I think we did a good job,” Hajime said, patting Nagito on the back. “It really looks like her.”

“Well, you did the important parts. Still, it does look good.”

“I’m glad you think so. Teruteru is probably making breakfast by now, we should head to the restaurant.”

Nagito nodded, and the two walked to the restaurant. They walked into the kitchen to find Teruteru hard at work on making his “perfect” miso soup. He raised an eyebrow when he noticed the two boys. 

“Coming to breakfast together, eh? I Wonder what that could be about…?”

Hajime blushed. “It’s not like that! Get your mind out of the gutter!”

Teruteru smiled provictavely. “No need to get so worked up. I mean, I suspected that Nagito liked guys, but Hajime? I never would've guessed.”

Hajime rolled his eyes, but didn’t dispute this. He walked into the sitting area and began sipping on some orange juice.

. “It can’t be that obvious!” Nagito shouted. 

“You’re such a twink!”

“I’m not!”

“Yes you are!”

Nagito stormed out of the kitchen, and turned to Hajime. “Am I a twink?”

Hajime nodded. “Very much.”

Nagito punched the table with his metal hand, nearly breaking it. “Damn it!”

“Whoa, take it easy, Nagito.”

Nagito took a deep breath. “Sorry. I’m not a twink, though. If anyone here is a twink, it’s Fuyuhiko.”

Hajime wheezed. “I’m gonna tell him you said that! Then we’ll see who the twink is!”

Nagito’s expression became extremely fearful. “Didn’t you tell me that you wanted me alive? Peko would kill me on the spot if she found out about what I just said.”

Hajime smiled. “I’d never tell him. He’d become ultimate despair again if anyone thought he was a twink.”

People began to arrive at the restaurant in waves. Peko, Mikan, the Imposter, Gundham, Nekomaru, Mahiru, Sonia, Akane, and Kazuichi were the first to arrive. Five minutes later, Hiyoko, Ibuki, Fuyuhiko, and Ryota arrived. Kazuichi sat down with Hajime and Nagito, considering Sonia’s table was already full.

“Good morning, Kazuichi!” Nagito smiled cheerfully through spoonfuls of soup.

Kazuichi rolled his eyes and ignored Nagito, opting instead to speak to Hajime. “How’d you sleep, soul friend?”

Hajime sighed. “Not great. I had some nightmares so I just hung out with Nagito. He’s pretty good company, you know.”

Nagito got up and went to the bathroom without debunking the compliment.

“Dude,” Kazuichi whispered, as if Nagito could still hear him. “Nagito is insane. Don’t spend your time with him, he’s weird.”

Hajime sighed. “Nagito is really nice when he isn’t ranting like a madman. We spent some nice time together.”

“Beside,” Kazuichi continued, pretending he didn’t hear Hajime. “He’s so gay! It’s kind of weird. He should hang out with the girls.”

“Kazuichi, it’s too early for this. You’re gay, and I’m sick of you pretending to have a crush on Sonia. Frankly, I’m pretty sure she hates it, too. If you’re going to hate on Nagito, you can just leave me alone. He means well.”

Kazuichi muttered something under his breath and got up to sit with the Imposter and Ryota. 

Nagito returned to the table. “What’s his problem?”

Hajime rolled his eyes. “He got all annoying about Sonia again.”

“Did he bother you? You have such a beautiful array of talents, I must take it upon myself to defend your honor!”

“You don’t have to do that. I think it’d be better if you left him alone.”

“I understand.”

Ibuki walked over to the table. “How long have you two been a thing?” she smiled. 

Hajime felt his face become extremely hot. “We aren’t a thing!”

“Ibuki thinks you’re lyingggg!!” she poked Hajime’s nose.

“Ugh, let’s go, Nagito.”

Nagito nodded and followed Hajime out of the restaurant.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hey! thanks for the encouragement, ao3 user komaedakun. 
> 
> gonna add a quick tw for kazuichi slander  
> also this chapter isnt very good

The foggy morning air limited Nagito’s vision. The gloomy weather reminded him of the day he was kidnapped. Nagito shuddered at the memory. The list of things he wanted to forget was ever-expanding, and the list of the things he actually did remember kept on shrinking. There were so few things that he actually remembered.

“You okay?” Hajime asked, noticing the tears in Nagito’s eyes.

He rubbed them away. “Yeah, I’m fine. Let’s go to the library.”

Hajime nodded and began walking. His headache was getting worse, the throbbing causing him to get dizzy. He collapsed to the ground. “Argh!”

“Here, let me help,” Nagito smiled faintly as he pulled Hajime up and grabbed his hands. “Hold my hands, I’ll keep you stable.”

Hajime blushed and smiled back. “Thank you, Nagito.”

They walked to the library hand in hand, each blushing to themselves. The thick fog prevented them from seeing the flustered expression of the other. Nagito’s self deprecating words got stuck in his throat. Even he knew not to ruin the mood. 

Once they arrived at the library, both seemed to relax. Nagito was happiest when surrounded by books. The fictional worlds seemed to be the only thing he could rely on. They were static, unchanging. Comforting. “Is there anything you want to read, Hajime?”

Hajime shook his head. “I know all of these stories because of my talents, even though I’ve never actually touched any of these books. I remember seeing some games in here, though.”

Nagito smiled. “Chess is the only game I can actually lose at. I’m lucky, remember?”

Hajime rubbed his hands together. “I have luck, too. Let’s play uno, I played it a lot when I was younger.”

Nagito shrugged, but sat down facing Hajime. “Sure! Why not?”

Hajime quickly explained the rules before giving Nagito 7 cards. The two played passionately, each having only “draw four” and “skip turn” cards. In the end, Nagito won only because he went first. 

“That was the longest game of uno I’ve ever played!”

Just then, Nagito was overtaken by grief. “Do you think she liked this game?”

Hajime sighed. “Usually when someone is upset and saying ‘she’, they’re either talking about Junko or Chiaki. I think that right now, you’re talking about Chiaki. I know she much preferred video games to cards, but you spent more time with her than I did.”

Nagito held himself. “I think you knew her better. Chiaki really tried to be nice to me. In high school, I was worse than I was in the killing game. You remember what I said, in the tunnels?”

Hajime chuckled sadly. “I think I’d like to forget shooting you.”

“I think I’d like to forget getting three people expelled because of a bomb that I built.”

“Wait, what?”

Nagito laughed. “I think that’s a story for another time. Oh hell, I guess I’ll give you the short version. I didn’t want to take a test, so I put some real bombs in the gym. I wasn’t the one who detonated them, but the people who did detonate them got expelled.”

“Jeez, I didn’t know that the bomb was your doing.”

“Yeah, it was a mistake. I guess I just really liked bombs, huh.”

“All of us remnants were terrorists, but you were *really* into that bomb thing.”

Nagito looked away sadly. “We aren’t remnants anymore. W-we saved the future foundation, right?”

Hajime stared at his shoes. “I still consider myself a remnant. What I did can’t be forgiven. I’m so much worse than the rest of you. Really all you did was kill a handful of people in Towa City and upset a few people. And Towa City is doing well now, too! Naegi’s sister and that Fukawa girl really fixed things up!”

Nagito smiled slightly to himself. “It goes to show that hope springs from despair. I tried to create Junko’s successor though, that’s much worse than anything you’ve done!”

Hajime laughed. “Compared to what I did, that’s pathetic. Monaca Towa was a complete and utter failure. According to Naegi, she blasted herself into space in order to run away from both hope and despair.”

“Honestly, I’m glad it didn’t work.”

“Unlike Junko, all of my plans were successful. Except for one.”

“Uploading her into the program?”

Hajime nodded. “We beat her. I wish you could’ve been there. I heard Chiaki’s voice, and that was the only thing that kept me from giving into despair. You and Junko would’ve gotten into such an argument that it would give us a chance to stall and get out.”

Nagito smiled brightly to himself. “I fondly remember how much we hated each other. The only good thing Junko did was die.”

“Agreed.”

“Oh, would you look at that. It’s almost time for lunch.”

Hajime smiled. “Then let’s get going. I wouldn’t miss Teruteru’s cooking for the world.”

Nagito and Hajime sat down next together. The lunch was American food, which mainly consisted of bagels. Nagito, being the bagel lover he was, was extremely excited by this. Hiyoko and Mahiru sat with the two, filling the table. 

“Ugh, Nagito,” Hiyoko groaned. “He isn’t even fun to tease, like pig barf!”

Nagito tilted his head. “I’m sorry that I give you so much despair! I can move seats, if you’d like!”

Hajime pulled Nagito’s arm. “The only reason they sat here was because there were two open seats. We wouldn’t be able to sit together if you moved.”

“Aw, you want to sit with me? Okay, I’ll stay here.”

“Jeez,” Mahiru said in typical Mahiru fashion. “When will you two just kiss already?”

Hajime and Nagito turned matching shades of red while Hiyoko nodded. “Men are so stupid and oblivious! I’m glad I only like women.”

“Ibuki agrees!” Ibuki shouted. 

“Yeah! Women are, uh,” Kazuichi tried to think of an adjective. “Pretty?”

Nagito’s eyes got a familiar glint. “Women may be pretty,” he countered. “But men… men are so much better.”

Hajime shrugged. “Women are a bit better, but men are still cool.”

The Imposter sighed. “This conversation is foolish, everyone must eat. Especially you, Nagito. You are far too skinny.”

Nagito blushed and began eating his bagel tentatively. “Sorry.”

Hajime patted Nagito on the head and got up to get some orange juice. “I’ll be right back,” he assured the other. “I promise.”

Kazuichi pounced on his opportunity. “You should leave, Nagito. After all you did in the killing game, you aren’t welcome here.”

“The snow demon is responsible for the deaths of the false leader, the dark alchemist, and the kindhearted ghost! He deserves harsh punishment!” Gundham chimed in. Nagito nodded in agreement. 

“Their deaths in the Neo World Program were my fault.”

“Holy shit, he’s so fucking weird.”

“That is enough!” Sonia commanded. Nagito was taken aback by the sudden new ally. “We have all done horrible things! I massacred my entire country!”

“See, but I was terrible before I became ultimate despair! It’s what sets me apart from you guys. You were all hopeful, talented individuals who fell victim to Junko’s despair! I was nothing more than a side character.”

“Chiaki and Ms. Yukizome did not die so you could say these awful things about yourself!” Sonia exclaimed. 

Kazuichi shrugged. “If Miss Sonia thinks that Nagito is worthy, I must agree.”

Sonia huffed and pivoted to face the mechanic. “Cease the ‘Miss Sonia’ nonsense! I do not feel the same way about you! Simply admit your feelings for Gundham and I shall forgive your belligerent behavior!”

Kazuichi was stunned. “Y-you don’t like me? But how?!”

“Wow Kazuichi! Even I knew she didn’t like you romantically!”

Kazuichi muttered something under his breath and stormed away, for the second time. At the same time, Hajime returned from the kitchen, clutching a glass of orange juice. 

“You were lucky to have missed that,” Nagito muttered under his breath. “Kazuichi is acting like a child again.”

Hajime shrugged. “Isn’t he always acting like a child?”

Gundham joined the conversation. “The mechanical wizard’s childlike personality is something I have never known. He is an enchanting creature, although his power is lacking!”

Sonia sighed. “Kazuichi is quite bothersome. He never leaves me alone!”

“He’s somewhat stalkerish,” Nagito added. “I don’t think he knows when to be quiet.”

Hajime rolled his eyes. “I don’t know anyone like that.”

Nagito frowned. “But don’t you know Kazuichi?”

Fuyuhiko hit his face with his hand. “He’s talking about you, dumbass.”  
“Oh.” 

“Hey, don’t look so sad, Nagito,” Hajime smiled. “I think it’s charming.”

Nagito smiled. “You do?”

“Yeah, I think your little flaws are what makes you a good friend.”

“W-we’re friends, Hajime?”

Hajime smiled. “Of course we are. I care about you, and I think you care about me.”

“I do. I’m so happy! You’re the first person to ever call me their friend!”

“Well, I’m glad that it’s me, but I’m sorry that you haven’t had any friends before.”

“I just… thank you, Hajime.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> tw for greece mentions (i dont know maybe its a trigger for some of you)

Hajime smiled. “That’s what friends are for.”

Nagito took Hajime’s hand. He ignored the fact that he felt like he was flying, and said, “want to go to the library? I could read something to you.”

Hajime smiled, noticing a warmth that hadn’t been in Nagito’s eyes before. “Sounds good.”

The two walked back to the library. Nagito picked a book off of the shelf. It was on he knew well, his father used to read it to him when he was a lot younger. It was a children’s book about Ancient Greeks. Hajime knew the book like the back of his hand, but hearing it read in Nagito’s voice was soothing. Soon, he felt his head fall on Nagito’s boney shoulder.

Nagito paused. Hajime’s spiky hair tickled his neck. “Hajime? Are you still awake?”

“I’m awake,” he murmured softly. “Keep reading, this is enjoyable.”

“If you’re bored enough to fall asleep, then you aren’t enjoying this. It’s fine, I’ll let you sleep.”

“No! This is fun, I’m just tired.”

Nagito smiled and continued reading about the Greek Warriors. Unlike Hajime, Nagito was very used to lacking sleep. He really only slept for longer than an hour when he was in a surgery. Of course, Hajime had plenty of experience in terms of staying awake, but much preferred to sleep.

He soon noticed that the other boy had fallen asleep on his shoulder. Nagito didn’t dare wake him. Instead, he let his head fall to the side, and the two fell asleep next to each other. 

When Nagito awoke, he noticed Kazuichi, Ibuki, and Mahiru standing over him and Hajime.

“What are you doing?” He asked, rubbing his eyes.

“Ibuki tagged alone for funsies!” 

Mahiru smiled wickedly. “Kazuichi wanted to get revenge, and I decided I wanted to do something immature like you men.”

“Hey! Revenge is always justified! What if someone was related to the death of your-oh.”

Mahiru rolled her eyes. “Now he gets it. I only got involved because I wanted to see what he meant by ‘Hajime and Nagito are sleeping together’. I honestly got worried that he was going to blackmail you guys. Of course, I still wanted to have some fun, so I brought my camera. Luckily, you two were doing something far more innocent.”

“Nagito?” Hajime asked sleepily.

“I’m right here, you can go back to sleep,” Nagito whispered. “I won’t leave you.”

Hajime smiled and closed his eyes, and immediately fell asleep. “Goodnight.”

“I love you,” Nagito said so quietly it was practically inaudible. Practically. A certain ultimate musician heard him. For once, Ibuki decided to stay quiet. 

Once Hajime began snoring quietly, Ibuki opened her mouth. “Ibuki knows your secrettttt!!”

Nagito glared at her. “Tell him and it’ll be the last thing you do!”

Ibuki smiled. “Oooh! Nagito is so scary! Okay! Your secret is safe with Ibuki!” she pressed a finger to her lips.

“What did he say?” Kazuichi asked Ibuki, tugging on her arm. “Hey, c’mon, tell a fellow girl lover?”

Mahiru rolled her eyes. “He’s a fake girl lover, tell me instead.”

Ibuki shook her head, her horns swaying. “Nope! Ibuki can’t tell you! If Ibuki tells you, Nagito will kill her!”

Nagito sighed. “I suppose Mahiru is trustworthy. Kazuichi isn’t.”

The mechanic whined in protest while Ibuki told Mahiru. The redhead’s eyes widened briefly before reverting to their previous state. “I’m not surprised, honestly.”

Nagito looked at Mahiru. “He’s just… I can’t describe it.”

Mahiru nodded sympathetically. “I know how you feel. Tell him, when he wakes up.”

Nagito shook his head, being careful not to wake his sleeping crush. “He doesn’t feel the same way about me. I know it.”

Hajime’s eyelids fluttered open. “Who doesn’t feel the same about you?”

“Nobody. What time is it?”

Mahiru checked the time on her digital camera. “Eight. We should head to dinner.”

Nagito nodded and pulled Hajime to his feet. “Do you know what he made?”

“Does it matter?”

“Fair enough,” Nagito said. “Let’s get going.”

Hajime rubbed his eyes. “This stupid headache won’t break!”

Nagito smiled sympathetically at him. “Maybe you should have Mikan check it out.”

“It’s fine, I know why I have it. I’m just annoyed.”

Mahiru tapped her foot impatiently. “Can we leave now?”

“Yeah, fine,” Nagito threw his hands up. “Let’s go.”

Just as Nagito was about to enter, Hajime pulled him aside. “Why can’t you be nice to the others?”

Nagito stared at the floor. “I’m plenty nice to them. What do you mean?”

“You wouldn’t be an outsider if you didn’t see yourself as one.”

Nagito rolled his eyes and walked into the restaurant. He grabbed some food, quietly ate, and walked to his cottage without saying anything to Hajime. 

Hajime didn’t see Nagito again for an entire day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “You wouldn’t be an outsider if you didn’t see yourself as one.”  
>  -me calling myself out


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> nagito isolates himself and then ibuki and hajime help him out.  
> mostly just a hurt/comfort chapter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw for cancer discussion

Ibuki knocked on Nagito’s door, praying he’d answer. “Nagitoooo? Are ya homee?” Ibuki pressed her head against the door. Muffled sobs came from inside. “Nagito!”

Nagito stood up. He wiped the tears from his eyes, even though he knew there was no fooling Ibuki. “I’m coming! Sorry I kept you waiting!”

Ibuki walked inside, her energetic demeanor falling away. “Nagito. Something is wrong, isn’t it? I can tell something is wrong.”

“No third person?”

Ibuki sighed. “You know I can be serious. Please, tell me what’s wrong. I heard you crying before. I’m dating Mikan, I think I can understand what you’re going through.”

Nagito put his hands on his knees. “What’s the point? He doesn’t like me.”

Ibuki put a hand on Nagito’s shoulder. “He likes you. Confess that you like him.”

Nagito broke down crying. “M-my luck would kill him if I did that. Unless he didn’t feel the same way, that is.”

“Has anything extremely good or extremely bad happened since we got back to Jabberwock Island?”

Nagito sighed. “Nothing comes to mind. I did beat Hajime at cards, though.”

“I think things would be better if you talked things out with Hajime,” Ibuki smiled. “He gives good advice.”

Nagito nodded, and he and Ibuki exited the cottage. “Thanks, Ibuki.”

Nagito walked towards Hajime’s cottage and knocked on the door softly. Part of him hoped that Hajime wouldn’t hear.

“Nagito? Is that you?” Hajime asked before opening the door. “Oh, good. Come in.”

“Hajime, I’m so-”

“Don’t worry about it,” Hajime shrugged. He sat down on his bed and gestured to a spot beside him. “Here, sit down. I realized something.”

“Oh?” Nagito asked, sitting down next to Hajime. The familiar feeling of floating emerged again.

“When you had the liar’s disease, you told me that you hated me.”

Nagito smirked. “At the time, you walked out on me. I guess now you realize. I guess it was good that you left when you did. The investigation would have played out differently if you didn’t.”

Hajime shrugged. “Still, I should’ve at least acknowledged that you didn’t hate me.”

“You don’t need to acknowledge scum like myself!”

“Stop it with that self deprecating bullshit. It’s a waste of breath.”

“I just know my place, Hajime.”

“Your place? That isn’t your place. Your place is with the people who care about you. It seems that those people consist of me, Mahiru, and Ibuki right now.”

“Why would ultimates like them care about me?”

“You’re an ultimate too, jackass. Luck is very much a talent.”

“It hasn’t even been working recently! I don’t deserve to be considered an ultimate.”

“How are your illnesses then?”

“That was all thanks to you and Mikan.”

“I didn’t even do anything! Your lymphoma just magically disappeared.”

“Then what was that surgery?”

“A biopsy! I can’t treat cancer with a biopsy!”

“Even so, I think it was your luck that caused it to go into remission.”

“I doubt it. I can control my luck. I simply don’t use it anymore.”

Nagito’s jaw fell open in awe. “Y-you can? I’m so jealous! How?”

Hajime sighed. “My luck is unnatural. Yours isn’t. By the way, in the Neo World Program, did you know about the Kamukura project?”

“Yes and no. I knew about the ultimate despair thing, and I knew that you became the leader after Junko’s death, but I didn’t know why. I thought it was really weird that a talentless nobody became the leader of Ultimate Despair. The more I thought about it, the weirder it seemed. I realized that you must’ve had a talent that Monokuma was hiding. I thought it was Ultimate Traitor, or something like that. In terms of my plan, I hoped you were the traitor. Maybe if I could assure your survival, you could restore hope to the world. I should’ve known it was Chiaki. She was too unassuming. God, I’m such an idiot! I killed Chiaki!”

Hajime put a hand on Nagito’s knee, causing Nagito to feel something he could only describe as pure hope. “If anyone is responsible for Chiaki’s death, it’s Junko. She’s the one who executed her. Is guilt the reason you fell into despair?”

Nagito looked indignant. “I never fell into despair! Sure, I felt guilty because of Chiaki’s death. But I never fell into despair!”

Hajime raised an eyebrow. “Really? I have trouble believing you.”

“I never fell into despair! I joined Junko to create hope!”

Hajime shook his head. “I’m sorry, Nagito, but you fell into despair. I remember you were in the deepest despair of anyone besides myself and Junko.”

Nagito winced. “I never fell into despair,” he repeated. “I never fell into despair, I never fell into despair, I never fell into despair, I never fell into despair, I never fell into despair, Ineverfellintodespair!”

“It’s okay, Nagito. Everyone feels despair at least once in their life.”

Hajime’s words fell on deaf ears. Nagito was rocking back and forth. “I’m so worthless!”

Hajime put his arms around Nagito and held him. “No, you mean a lot to me. It’s okay, I’m here. I’m here.”

“Hajime…” Nagito looked up at the brunette, his face covered in sweat, his eyes swirling and glassy. Hajime tucked a lock of Nagito’s hair behind his ear. 

“Shhh, it’s okay.”

Nagito shut his eyes tightly and clung to Hajime the way a squirrel clings to a tree. He opened his mouth to speak, but no words came out. The two sat together in silence, holding one another. 

After hours of sitting together, Nagito felt himself calm down. He loosened his grip on Hajime. “Let’s go make another sandcastle.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is 16 pages now 😳


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> nagito goes awooga

Hajime and Nagito sat together at the beach, casually building a sandcastle like they were small children again. “Thank you, Hajime. I like spending time with you.”

Hajime beamed. “I like it, too.”

Nagito put his hand on top of Hajime’s, pretending that he didn’t notice that their hands were touching. He hoped that the dark air would hide his blushing. 

Hajime blushed and tried to keep his hand from shaking. Why was he so nervous? He and Nagito were just friends, right? He kept his hand in the same spot, even though he needed to use it. “Nagito? Why are you holding my hand?”

Nagito panicked and moved his hand away. “Sorry.” 

Hajime shrugged and kept working on the sandcastle. Nagito followed his lead. “It’s fine. You’re probably starved of human touch. I don’t mind.”

Nagito briefly smiled. “You’re right. I’m not exactly deserving of affection, but it’s something I’ve never really known. I can only remember being hugged once.”

Hajime’s eyes widened in shock. “My parents were very affectionate people.”

Nagito sadly chuckled to himself. “I was hugged by my father once when my luck allowed him to get a bonus at work. He was nice enough. My mother resented my very existence. I don’t blame her, though. It’s sad, I hardly remember what they looked like. They died so long ago, and it was all my fault.”

Hajime shook his head. “It wasn’t your fault at all. Your luck is not the same thing as you.”

Nagito put his hands on his knees. “They died because of me. It was all my fault.”

Hajime put a hand on the other’s shoulder. “Get a hold of yourself. What would Chiaki say if she saw you right now?”

Nagito wiped a tear away and thought for a minute. “She’d say… that I can’t blame myself for something out of my control.”

“Exactly,” Hajime patted Nagito on the back. “Chiaki gave really good advice. If I’d just listened to her, the tragedy wouldn’t have happened.”

Nagito looked Hajime in his heterochromatic eyes. “Don’t say that. The tragedy doesn’t fall squarely on your shoulders. Junko would’ve spread despair without you. She still had her sister, Mikan, and Ryota.”

The corners of Hajime’s mouth twitched into a smile. “I guess you’re right. We both made mistakes, mine far worse than yours, but still comparable.”

Nagito smirked. “I’m glad you finally acknowledge my mistakes.”

“It’s the least I can do.”

Nagito reached for Hajime’s hand again, holding it in his own. Hajime crawled closer to the white haired boy and hugged him. “I guess it’s nice to have people who care about me.”

Hajime squeezed Nagito’s shoulders. “It is. It’s a bit hard to care sometimes, but I think the challenge makes it that much better.”

Nagito laughed, his breath warm on Hajime’s neck. “I can always trust you to tell me how you really feel. No lies, no games.”

Hajime smiled. “Unlike you!” he laughed, playfully shoving Nagito. 

He smiled, squirming in the sand. The dim evening light made his eyes shine like gray moonstones. They appeared happy, yet stormy at the same time. As if there was something troubling him. The white haired boy sat up, burying his hands in the sand. “I love the beach,” Nagito sighed. “It’s so peaceful here.”

Hajime nodded. His concern for Nagito grew deeper. “Is something wrong, Nagito?’

Nagito’s carefree expression faded. “Why do you say that?”

“I can feel it,” Hajime explained. “Ultimate Empathy, you know? It may be my weakest talent, but I can still tell that there’s something troubling you. Something you aren’t telling me.”

Nagito sighed. “You caught me, Hajime. I’m not surprised; I’m a horrible liar. Here, I can give you a hint. An ultimate like yourself should have no trouble figuring this out!”

“Enough of your hints!” Hajime boomed. “Please, just tell me what’s going on! I can help you!”

“Fine. I’ll be more direct with you. I have a crush on someone, but my luck would probably kill them. I’m so deeply in love, my luck would bring back such suffering to them.”

“Your luck is far less severe than it used to be. I’m positive that your crush will be fine.”

Nagito smiled. “I hope you’re correct. Do you want to go to bed?”

Hajime tilted his head. “What do you mean?”

“Just… nevermind. I’ll be at the motel if you need me.”

Hajime raised an eye. “Oh? Got a date?”

“No! Gundham, Nekomaru, and Teruteru aren’t necessarily the best neighbors. There’s so much noise every night. I think it’d be best if I slept in the motel at this point.”

“Then you’ll be so far away! Sleep in my cottage, the bed is big enough for the two of us.”

Nagito turned the brightest red that he possibly could. “That’s not necessary! I can sleep in the motel! Or the floor! Or the beach! I can-”

“Shut up, Nagito. You don’t need to do that. Come with me. And stop blushing.”

“Sorry!” Nagito exclaimed as Hajime pulled him by his arm. 

Hajime changed in the main room, and Nagito changed in the bathroom. Nagito walked into the main room before Hajime put his shirt on. He spent way too long staring at Hajime’s abs and chest. “Nagito? What are you looking at?”

“So sorry,” he mumbled, his face even redder than before. “I just appreciate fitness.”

Hajime raised an eyebrow. “You do? Maybe you should try training with Akane and Nekomaru! They appreciate fitness!”

“I wouldn’t be able to keep up. They are way stronger than I am. And I can’t run for longer than a minute.”

Hajime sighed as he put on a shirt that was sitting on his bed. “Sure you can’t. Why are you still wearing that hoodie, though? Do you sleep in it?”

“If it makes you uncomfortable, I can take it off.”

“I just don’t understand how you haven’t overheated. It’s really hot in here.”

Nagito muttered something under his breath and unzipped his hoodie. “I just don’t want anyone to see the ugliness of my body. Besides, when you have practically no body fat you get cold easily.”

He was even thinner than Hajime previously thought, his frail frame was almost too small to belong to a living human. “How are you even able to be that skinny?”

Nagito shrugged. “I drink too many energy drinks to have this physique. It’s really funny to me, honestly.”

Hajime smiled. “You’re definitely odd, Nagito. Here, lay down. I like the right side of the bed. I’m going to brush my teeth, I’ll be right back.”

Nagito laid down on the left side of the bed, feeling himself sink into the pillow. Today had been a good day.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hey so this is a shorter chapter bc i am so fucking tired and upset about last night. i wrote this as a way of coping.

Nagito felt a sharp pain in his head. He stared upwards, at the night sky that had replaced the cottage ceiling. Hajime was sitting next to him.

“Pretty, isn’t it?” Hajime said, his eyes on Nagito rather than the sky.

“You’re looking at me.”

“I know,” Hajime said, closing the gap between them. “You’re so much prettier than the stars.”

“Hajime!” Nagito exclaimed. 

“Are you going to do this every time I try to flirt with you?”

“Yeah.”

“God, why do I love you so much?”

Nagito blushed. “I love you too, Hajime.”

Nagito’s eyes shot open. Had it just been a dream? Yeah, of course it had been. Hajime loving him was an outlandish fantasy which Nagito believed wouldn’t ever come true. He looked to the other side of the bed. Hajime was facing away from him, so he couldn’t be sure if he was awake.

Hajime was, in fact, awake. He had heard what Nagito had said in his dream.

Hajime opened his eyes slowly. He felt something soft under his hand. Once he looked down, Hajime realized that his hands were in Nagito’s fluffy hair and around his waist respectively. He cursed his tossing and turning, but loved them at the same time. Nagito appeared to be sleeping, and moving around would wake him. Hajime decided to stay in the same position.

After a few minutes, Nagito opened his gray-green eyes and stared up at the brunette. Hajime could see the gears in his brain turning for a few seconds. “Is this why you insisted that we share a bed?”

Hajime blushed and quickly retracted his hands. “No! I just… toss and turn a lot.”

“That reminds me… I talk in my sleep. Did I say anything last night?”

Hajime thought of last night. He remembered Nagito telling Hajime he loved him. It was just a dream, and he could’ve meant it platonically. He decided to lie about the incident. “No. If you said anything, I must’ve been asleep.”

Nagito smiled. “Good. Should we get ready for the day?”

Hajime nodded. “Yeah, sure.”

Nagito grabbed some of Hajime’s clothes from his dresser without seeming to realize. “I’ll change in the bathroom.”

Hajime sighed, and began changing. Nagito reentered the room wearing his jacket over one of Hajime’s button up shirts without a tie. “Do you realize your mistake?” He inquired.

Nagito smirked. “It wasn’t a mistake. I wanted to match today.”

Hajime rolled his eyes. “Why?”

“Why not?”

“Let’s just go to breakfast.”

Nagito nodded and the two stepped out. When Hajime flung the door to the restaurant open, everyone stared. Especially Teruteru and Kazuichi.

The chef raised an eyebrow. “Arriving for breakfast late together? Wearing each other’s clothes? I wonder what you two were up to last night…”

“I thought you liked girls, Hajime!” Kazuichi exclaimed, feeling betrayed. 

“I do! Nagito just wanted to crash at my cottage last night.”

Nagito nodded. “He’s telling the truth. Even though Teruteru has a shining talent, he makes a lot of noise at night. I was going to sleep at the motel, but Hajime wanted me to stay with him.”

Teruteru raised his other eyebrow. “I wonder why…”

“Not that anything I have to say matters,” Ryota chimed in. “But I heard speaking coming from Hajime’s cottage really late at night.”

“I must say, I am proud of you, Nagito! I must be a good wingwoman afterall!” 

Nagito shot Sonia a glare. “Sonia, please be quiet right now.”

Hiyoko giggled. “Nagito is insulting his beloved symbols of hope!”

“P-please don’t use t-that word, Hiyoko! S-sorry!” Mikan said, staring at her shoes.

Hiyoko stuck out her tongue. “I do what I want, pig barf!”

Mahiru sighed. “Can you not do that right now?”

Hiyoko crossed her arms. “Only because I love you.”

“I love you, too, Hiyoko.”

Ibuki looked at Nagito. “Ibuki is so happy for you! You finally-”

“Not now,” Nagito hissed through his teeth. “Sorry, Ibuki.”

Ibuki smiled. “It’s totally fine with Ibuki! Ibuki will be proud later!”

Nagito smiled and walked over to the bagels. Hajime walked towards the juice section. Sonia walked over to the white haired boy. “You did not confess?” Sonia whispered, concerned. 

Nagito sighed. “No,” he whispered back. “The timing was all wrong.”

Sonia patted him on the shoulder. “Do not worry! You will find the proper time soon! I shall converse with Gundham about helping you find the proper time and place!”

“Thank you, Sonia.”

“Oh! I have an idea! Ask him to meet you at the beach where you first met at sunset. Confess then! I shall make sure nobody else comes to the beach. It will be so very romantic!”

Nagito smiled. “I’ll let him know.”


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> oooh nagito might confess ooooh

Nagito walked over to where Hajime was standing. “Hey, Hajime.”

Hajime rolled his eyes. “Spit it out.”

Nagito blushed. “Meet at the beach where we met, 6 tonight.”

Hajime tilted his head. “Why?”

“Building sandcastles is only fun when it’s dark out,” Nagito said, brushing Hajime’s face with the back of his right hand. The gesture made him turn bright red. “And maybe I want to go for an evening swim.”

“I’ll see you there.”

Nagito shot Sonia a triumphant grin before turning back to face Hajime. “Good.”

Nagito returned to his cottage in a desperate attempt to quell his nerves. He still had no idea what he was going to say to Hajime or what he was going to wear. He felt like his heart was going to explode with anticipation and anxiety.

He washed and brushed his hair, desperately trying to look nice. He ironed the button up shirt he’d taken from Hajime, and the tie that once belonged to his father. It was green and silver with the family name sewn into the back of it. Nagito removed the skull chain from his pants, trying to look as formal as possible. He decided to put his jacket away, fearing that it would ruin the outfit. 

Nagito wrote a speech on a piece of paper lying on his nightstand, rehearsing it over and over again in the mirror like a madman until he had it memorized. He thought it would be best to bring some gifts to make his chances greater if all else failed. 

He walked over to the hotel’s kitchen to get the first gift he needed for Hajime. Teruteru was working on dinner, kneading some kind of dough. 

“Ah! Nagito! What do you need?” the chef asked.

Nagito blushed just thinking about Hajime. “I need to give Hajime a gift. I know he’s way out of my league, and I’m unloveable scum, but I really don’t want to mess this up. Do you have any foods that would be good for a picnic date?”

Teruteru smirked. “I’m no Kimura-”

Nagito’s eyes widened. Did he really go there? “No! Nothing like that!”

“Fine. I think cookies would be perfect, maybe some fresh orange juice too. I’ll have it ready soon.”

Nagito nodded and decided to head to Kazuichi’s cottage to see if he had anything of use lying around. He knocked on the door. Kazuichi’s smile fell when he saw Nagito.

“Oh. it’s you.”

“I know you aren’t happy, but I'm trying to do a romantic gesture tonight, and I-”

“Who’s your date?”

“None of your business.”

“It’s Miss Sonia, isn’t it?”

“You seriously think I like girls?”

“It better not be Gundham!”

Nagito stifled a laugh. “It’s Hajime. I need to give him a gift. Do you have a music box or something like that?”

Kazuichi smiled, his pointy teeth in full view. “Hajime came in here asking me about something for a date earlier. He wouldn’t tell me who it was.”

Nagito froze. “Did he say it was for a date or for a friend?”

“Why should I tell you?”

“Please, Kazuichi. I can set you up with Gundham.”

Kazuichi shook his head. “Not gonna tell you, bud. Here, I can give you a Mechumaru.”

“Thanks.”

“Oh, and Nagito,” Kazuichi added. “Good luck.”

Nagito laughed. “I hope so.”

Nagito returned to the kitchen to pick up the cookies. They reminded him of the cookies he gave Hajime on the boat ride home from Future Foundation Headquarters. The gift was meant to be a romantic gesture, but Hajime was too oblivious and didn’t think so.

Six was fast approaching, and Nagito decided to go to the beach to set up. He laid a blanket on the sand, set the mechumaru on the ground, and put the cookies and orange juice on a board he brought. Nagito checked his watch. 6:57. He could see Hajime in the distance, walking towards him.

Nagito sighed, trying to rid himself of the anxiety that sat in his chest as Hajime sat down across from him. He handed Nagito a bouquet of roses and a metal four leafed clover the size of Nagito’s fist with photos of their class inside. The photos had been shrunk down to fit around 50 in the small box. They included photographs of Chiaki and Ms. Yukizome, too. There was even a photo of Makoto and Nagito, posing next to each other, taken at Hope’s Peak. Nagito smiled. The gift was thoughtful.

“Mahiru compiled the photos. I needed Kazuichi’s help finding the scrap metal, and he had plenty,” Hajime explained. “It’s so you never forget us, no matter how bad your dementia gets.”

Nagito felt his eyes begin to water. “I will treasure it. This is the best gift I’ve ever received, thank you. I got some fortune cookies, but I don’t need these to predict that tonight will be nice.”

Hajime chuckled. “Smooth.”

“I also got you a Mechumaru. I thought about building a bomb special for you, but decided that you probably wouldn’t want it.”

Hajime nodded. “I’m glad you held off on the bomb.”

Nagito smiled. “You look nice, by the way.” 

Hajime blushed, fiddling with the buttons on his green shirt. He had Chiaki’s hair clip in his breast pocket, just to keep himself calm. “You do, too. I haven’t seen you wear a tie since high school.”

Nagito laughed awkwardly. “Yeah,” he felt bile rising in his throat. His head felt heavy. “Listen, uh, I called you here because-” Nagito’s eyes shut. His jaw fell open. His heart was beating too quickly. 

Hajime quickly stood up. “Nagito?! Stay awake!” he said. 

Then everything went dark.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> LMAOOOO YOU THOUGHT IT WAS GONNA GO WELL? SIKE THIS IS SLOWBURN BITCH
> 
> dw nagito isn't dead but uh next chapter will be far less fluffy


	8. Chapter 8

When Nagito opened his eyes, Hajime was standing over him. The two were in the hospital. Hajime’s worried heterochromatic eyes burrowed into the white haired boy. Hajime breathed a sigh of relief when he realized Nagito was awake. “You had me worried there. I can’t even figure out why you passed out. One second you were conscious, the next you were laying on the ground and foaming at the mouth.”

Nagito chuckled weakly. “Probably just a freakish instance of bad luck. What time is it?”

Hajime looked at his watch. “It’s 10. Mikan left a few minutes ago. She and I were trying to work out the cause of the incident. It’s possibly sleep deprivation, but I know that you slept last night.”

“H-how do you know that?! How do you know ” Nagito demanded, even though he already knew the answer.

Hajime realized his blunder. “Shit. Fuck.”

“I said something in my sleep, didn’t I?”

“Yes.”

“What did I say?”

“You-you said you loved me, Nagito.”

“I never said that, Hajime. You must be imagining what you wanted to hear.”

“Your tricks don't work on me, Nagito. I know what I heard.”

“You must’ve been imagining things. I never had a dream like that.”

“Maybe you don’t remember? I know for a fact that you said that you loved me.”

“I remember all of my dreams. I never had a dream where we were in love.”

“Nagito. Stop. I know what I heard.”

“No, you don’t. I never said that, I’m positive.”

Hajime paused, seeing an opening. “God, Nagito. Just say you don’t like me like that, it isn’t that hard.”

Nagito froze. Manipulating Hajime was so easy in the Neo World Program. But now Hajime had reversed the roles. He had been thrown into a situation where his only choice was to friendzone Hajime. “Maybe I did say it,” Nagito searched for the words that would protect him. “but that doesn’t mean I meant it. Or meant it romantically”

“Ah, so you’re friendzoning me?”

“Just… leave me be.”

“Gladly,” Hajime snarled, slamming the door behind him. He was behaving the same way as he was in the Neo World Program, mean without reason.

Nagito sighed. He had just ruined his chances with the only person who seemed to like him. Guilt washed over him like a tidal wave. He couldn’t do anything right. Usually, Nagito would resort to blaming his luck in situations like this. But he knew he could’ve changed this outcome. He chose to stay with Hajime when he was unconscious that first time they met. He chose to go with Hajime that night at the pool. He chose to interpret the butterflies as a crush. He chose to ask Hajime to come to the beach, knowing full well that something bad would happen. He chose to manipulate Hajime rather than admit that he liked him. It was his fault, just like everything else. Nagito couldn’t take it anymore. He began sobbing into his pillow, regretting every decision that led him to the point he’d reached. 

Hajime could hear Nagito’s loud sobs. He sat with his back pressed against the door, his ultimate hearing talent allowing him to hear every breath Nagito released. He too felt regret for the way he’d treated the other. He’d been so mean. Sure, Nagito deserved it in some instances, but he still was incredibly fragile. His mind was a storm that Hajime could never predict, no matter how much he tried. It was what made him so… intriguing. The one thing that Hajime thought he knew was that he liked Nagito. He didn’t know if he wanted to date Nagito or just be his friend, though. He couldn’t deny that there was a bond between the two that was beyond his understanding. Hajime felt like he’d wrecked part of that bond. Silent tears began streaming down his face. It was the first time he’d cried since he realized he was responsible for the tragedy.

Nagito never let himself cry in front of others. The last time he’d cried in front of someone else was when Ibuki confronted him about his feelings for Hajime. He could count the amount of times he cried in front of others that he actually knew on one hand, though. He hugged his pillow, imagining that he was hugging Hajime rather than an inanimate object. Hajime and Chiaki always gave the best hugs. They were the only people Nagito knew who consistently treated him with basic human compassion. They were the only people Nagito knew who treated him like he was even human every time they interacted. Hajime may be mean to Nagito, but he still treats him like a person rather than a monster. 

Both boys sat crying, believing themselves to be alone. Until the door collapsed under Hajime’s weight. He fell through the door frame, allowing Nagito to see Hajime’s tear filled face. “Hajime?”

Hajime stood up. “Yeah?”

“I’m sorry.”

“I’m sorry, too.”

“I love you, Nagito.”

Nagito looked at the brunette, his heart racing. He didn’t know what to say. So he just said what he felt. “I love you, too.”


End file.
